Funny clean quotes and jokes that I havent heard that I can put on my binder?

Bubblz asked:


I want some that will make people think for a second, or that are really funny, but not the jokes that everyone has heard. Or just little sayings that are funny or whatever. If there is any about skiing that would be great.

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♥PYT♥ Stranger In Pittsburgh™ asked:


I don’t really understand the reason behind Chuck Norris jokes, why Chuck Norris, and what’s the thrill in making fun of him?

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Shawn O asked:


So we have a practical joke war between housemates going and i need some help. What are some jokes that i can do to the person’s bed so when they get in something will happen. along the lines of setting up the bed leg so when they sit on it, it will fall down. something that wont hurt anyone, just good fun. Any ideas?

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buttercup1137 asked:


I asked earlier, but I asked for new jokes. They don’t have to be new, just not likely something that they’ve not already heard.

Got anything?

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yeesho2 asked:


I recently used this as answer to a question on where to find blond jokes, and went on to inquire: are you aware that they are as exactly bigoted, prejudiced, and as inflammatory as any other racist joke? Can you begin to understand the reason society is so accepting of these type of jokes? It really serves to incite the continual demeaning of ALL women!!! What I have an intense difficulty understanding is that society will no longer accept Black, Polish, or Cripple jokes, but are quick to validate a Blond joke with a hearty laugh. In addition, a majority of the offenders who perpetuate the violation of women’s rights for equality and humanity with shameful condemnation of intelligence based solely on the color of ones hair, are from the same gender association. When will women unite and become the sisterhood it was designed to be?
Do any of you have anything to add?
For those of you who are annoyed or bored with my zeal for equal rights for women… I apologize for the intrusion on your sense of humor. I do understand that you are unable to see the whole picture of the injury caused by these types of jokes when both genders are earning $5.25 an hour working at the local burger palace!!!

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Jim E asked:


Jokes invented by Yakov Smirnoff, involving the comparisons of things in the United States and the Soviet Union.
In America, you drive car. In Soviet Russia, car drives you!

In America, you go to parties. In Soviet Russia, party goes to you!

In America, you watch television. In Soviet Russia, television watches you!

In America, you define dictionary. In Soviet Russia, dictionary defines you!

In America, you shoot gun. In Soviet Russia, gun shoots you!

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angel_eyes982 asked:


I find what ever site I go to there seems to people making jokes and talking ill of Steve. This is someone Husband and someone Father. I makes me angry. Yes I know everyone entitled to their freedom of speech, but this man was out there to teach us about the animals that need us to save there planet. Respect is what we should be showing his family. In times like this people need to follow the one golden rule in life: If you can say anything nice, then dont say anything at all.

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zombiebeaver asked:


You just can’t say Air Force and Navy either just because they are the biggest joke of the armed forces. I mean if your in the Air Force or Navy, your pretty much worthless. I’ll give credit to the older vets and salute you, but the new people serving are worthless. If your a man, join a real service like the Army or Marines. It’s war, time to fight, not time to hide. Now lets hear your jokes making fun of Air Force and Navy!

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Jorge H asked:


Extra points if you recommend websites with jokes in english, spanish and portuguese.

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Patti L asked:


Dome of the jokes I get has as many as five or six forwards on them. I would like to delete them before sending them on. Also how do I get rid of all the addresss’ on some of them?

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